Quotes


I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.

If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor.

My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.

Our national flower is the concrete cloverleaf.

There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.

You're only as good as your last haircut.

All men are equal before fish.

Do not let a flattering woman coax and wheedle you and deceive you; she is after your barn.
Hesiod

Have enough sense to know, ahead of time, when your skills will not extend to wallpapering.

I don't think anyone should write their autobiography until after they're dead.



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