by Preeth Nambiar
In front of the lit oil lamp while chanting Gayatri, I heard the sound of fluttering wings of a dragonfly upon the flames. My eyes opened to see that poor being with its wings burnt and body immersed in the oil. There was silence and the tiny idols in front of me were shining while I was still enjoying a temporary detachment brought by few minutes of meditation. I heard the noise for few more moments and then it stopped to take me back to silence.
I thought of its possible past - birth from a tiny egg; the amusement to see the beautiful world around it; the joy of flying amidst the plants in the wild gardens; the moments of togetherness with loved ones and at the end the pain of understanding its wings getting tired even in the slowest breeze! Perhaps he entered my tiny room seeking refuge from the drizzle outside, attracted by the light and fragrance from my serene home. Alas! Here he ends!
A dragonfly that committed suicide upon the mystic flames of divinity - that was what I felt and I understand that I am nowhere different from him. The experience of lifespan for the tiny being and my lifespan of few decades would not have much difference in the level of perception. When I count years, he must have counted hours and lived a life so. But probably I am bit early, I can feel my wings being burnt and my identity lost within the fuel of devotion.
But, my Lord, how long will I live here so? How far will I fly with these burnt wings? I wish if a spark from the flame in front of me falls unto my body, spread across my skin and burn this flesh to reduce me into ashes that would nourish at least the earth where I lived! My Lord, I am tired of a life that is being lived in vain and I am all ready to abandon this being caged in my self! Open my eyes from the darkness of this mortal life to the light of your realisation!
It is raining heavily and I am in search of a blanket that would keep me warm for this night!