Nobody

I am a storm, chaos, sorrow, rage, and betrayal.
Yet I am also sunshine, peace, joy, calmness, and love.
I have many regrets, am tired, and very emotional.
But I am thankful, still eager, and willing to have
A numb heart. So I won't feel anything in this
World that made me experience not everything,
But somehow enough to make me wish that I should miss
The first race I had in my mother's womb. Not winning
Inside her belly would have been better. But is it?
Is it really much better that way? Would it be great
If I did not have a life at all? If the jigsaw did not fit,
Is being a nobody amazing? If He did not create
Something like me, I would be everything I want.
But no. I am the ocean and the mermaid all at once.
I am a siren and a witch who can sing an evil chant.
I am a comedienne and a clown with lots of puns.
Yet. I am still a nobody. If everything is taken away
From me, I am literally a nobody. Take my wit off
Away from me as well as my life and throw it on a bay,
I will be nothing but a load of nonsense. Blast off,
Baby! Are you going to love a nobody? A somebody like me?
If you will, you'll be chasing a hurricane. What a pity!
And. You will die by loving a beast without a piece of beauty!
But I know love and am suicidal. I'll give you immortality
Even when you are pushing up daisies. Just love a nobody like me.