Obsessions

I

In the fading light of the night
Snow descended as if
Feathers scattered from an obliterated pillow.
I am holding my heart to a desolate fire.

II

Snow fell, fog descended onto the roofs,
I couldn't go out.
One of my hands is a doorknob,
The other is the withered silhouette of a tree.
I opened and closed the windows,
Against the whistling wind.
The roof tiles kept rattling.
I was paralyzed here, and struggled to walk.

III

Snow is falling.
Pots, pans, pitcher, washtub, whatever I could find
I placed under the untidy table.
I did everything to look
'Broken and far beyond' to you.

IV

A window caught fire.
The sea rose from its hiding place,
A walnut tree in the soil,
Its shadow dark and cool.
I came for your sake,
Leaving a dop of blood on every needle.
I came for this woman
Whose portrait I engraved on my wrist.

V

I don't love this woman.
In the soil rising from the sea's hiding place,
The walnut tree first bursts into flowers, then teems with fruits.
Love doesn't dwell here anymore.

VI

Snow and fog! They hide in their own illuminations.
Their shadows are dark and serene.
A yellow pallor is entering the leaves
Of this walnut tree,
In light of death's gaudy motley.
I called Salih Bolat but his phone didn’t answer
Or the line was dead.

VII

There is suffering again, the same as usual.
Bertholt Brecht says:
"Many have a passion for orderliness,
And spread a tablecloth before dinner
If they have one."

Translated by Dr. Nesrin Eruysal & Prof. Dr. Kenneth Rosen