When I Looked At You

When i look at you,
I see someone who is willing to live for God,
I see a human being, hungry to one day be with the king,
When i look at you, i see a soldier for Christ, and for many years i looked at you,
My eyes told me you were strong and oh so brave,
My eyes told me you are embracing the life Jesus gave,
Oh how i admired every move you made
Because even though you went through trials and tribulations
It looked like it was easy for you as you were always so better with life calculations,
Or so it seemed, it seemed like you had it all figured out and you were the one i could reference to,
When i looked at you, my heart was filled with hope and joy, i had peace inside,
You saved me from falling into pieces manier times...
You looked so real, you looked like nothing can bring you down, your life, HOW PERFECT
I thought!
When i looked at you, when i take a deep glance with such a stare from my heart
As if you are in a movie setup and every move you make i am there watching what you do,
What you live, or how you live out what you say, you looked so real when i spend time with you,
When i told you what i am going through, i called you a friend,
Deeply moved by you and i got in to this trend,
You are my one true friend, you are the one that i can purely and clearly reference my preferences to!
When i look at you, my eyes tell me a different story, i am so sorry, thats what you would say to me,
When I looked at you, many times i would get caught up in my thoughts,
I would get so entangled with what you do, and how you do what you when you decide to do it,
And i would ask myself, what is a friend,
There is no greater love than for a man to lay die his life for a friend,
Because we are friends you see, and because of the way the bible talks about love,
I looked at you, i looked at how you behaved as if you could lay down your life for me,
But my eyes, my eyes always showed me the good side of you, you are a friend i want to have,
I want to love you and protect you my friend, i want to look at you, and say this words,
There is no greater love, but when i look at you, i see a different kind of love,
For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son,
My friend, when I look at you, I don’t see you laying down you life for me,
I don’t see you the way I saw you before, when the only trouble i had was emotional and not physical,
When I look at you now, i see a normal person, I know now you make mistakes,
I see you for who you are, and that’s not a bad WHO HA! Because of whom you are,
I now know who I am, and where I want to be,
I know you now, you are human like me, I know now, that all the times you remained strong,
All the times you pretended that you are not hurt by what people were saying around you
And about you, now i know you were doing it, to protect me, to protect me from the harsh times of life,
I knew somehow that it was too good to be true, I knew somehow it wasn’t going to last,
All the time you were struggling and suffering while I had a blast,
A blast of being able to reference on you, while you also needed me to lay down my life,
You needed a friend, you see, I thought you were strong...How could I be so wrong?
How could I have taken and taken until you were left friendless? Now I see...
When I looked at you, you appeared so strong, like you could hold the world in your shoulder
I couldn’t believe it when you told me you cried that night,
I didn’t seem right at all, to hear say you feel like you want to quit,
Or you get discouraged sometimes, or you are moody sometimes,
Or you feel impure and that you can’t go on with your Christian Life,
Or that day when you told me, someone touched you improperly and now you struggle with trust,
And when you also told me, I FEEL LIKE GOD IS SO FAR-AWAY
When I looked at you, i saw a warrior, when i spoke to you; you had all the answer,
Or so it seemed, until...
UNTIL you finally broke down and told me how you were suffering with addictions and how a
“TRUSTED FRIEND” molested you, you told me how you were beaten up and how you smiled on the outside,
But how you were screaming on the inside for my help, how you could not say NEO I need you NEO I need you,
Because you layed down your life for me you see, you put me first, i failed you my friend,
But when I took a moment, and stop concentrating on myself,
I saw you for who you are and what a Mighty God we serve,
Now when I look at you, I see my friend, MY BFF, the one who hurts like me,
The one who goes through the same challenges, the one who screams and cries sometimes,
When i look at you, I know I am normal...I know I can and I have to survive,
Now you look happy, but I remembered that day when you were crying so hard,
You told me you were lost and torn inside and you even feel tossed aside,
My friend, I will never let you walk alone again, after what you have told me,
I will always be there for you; I choose to lay down my life for my friends...
Because the one who has friends, even though he falls, he gets up as fast,
When I look at you, i see my friend...When I look at you, I know I am not lost...

Patrick Neo Mabiletsa

Patrick Neo Mabiletsa is a consultant at one of South Africa's major Consumer and corporate credit bureau, specializing in credit management, he's also an author, poet and singer, he plays the drums and likes to read non-fiction books, but most of all he is a believer in Christ Jesus and married with two kids. He gets his inspiration to write from his life experiences and monotonous past.

Last updated April 11, 2013