Does your Nanna visit you?
Is she old and pleasant?
Does she bake you cakes and treats?
Or bring you lots of presents?

My Nanna’s slightly different,
For although she gives me Prezzies,
Most of her gifts are usually awful,
Last visit she brought me wellies!
The time before that a tanktop,
I’ve had socks and mittens too.
When I was little she knitted a scarf,
That was pastel pink and blue!
I love my Nan to pieces,
And I wear these things to please her.
But I told her that I lost that scarf,
And hid it in the freezer!

So, on this visit, I waited,
Nanna was staying this night.
Her present was sure to be rubbish,
It was probably pink knitted tights!

But Nanna showed up empty handed!
With nothing but a smile and kiss.
This was very unusual,
Something was definitely amiss.

She hadn’t brought knitted mittens,
Or a patterned woolly vest.
There wasn’t a Blazer made of Tweed,
To, ‘help me look my best.’

But with eyes a bright and steady;
And denchers white and glistening.
Nanna whispered into my ear,
‘Grandchild, are you listening?’
‘I haven’t made you anything,
But have something ‘special’ instead.
It’s outside, if you want it,
Inside the garden shed.’

‘What could it be?’ I asked myself,
A puppy? A skateboard? A bike?
This time I hope its something,
That I really, really like!’
So, I charged into the garden,
With my brothers torch.
I couldn’t wait to find the present
That my Nanna brought!

But to my sudden horror,
I was met by a dreadful surprise!
For gazing at me from in the shed,
Were two red glowing eyes!
The shed then started creaking!
There was something big inside!
This wasn’t something special,
My Nanna surely lied!

And just as I started to panic,
Realizing this wasn’t a joke.
To my complete and utter astonishment,
The Shed Monster suddenly spoke!

‘Turn on the lights! I hate the dark!
I’ve been waiting in here for ages!
And that old lady who contracted me,
Still hasn’t paid my wages!
This shed is smelly and full of junk,
And there are spiders and cobwebs about!
Don’t leave me in here all alone,
Wont you let me out?’

My body started to tremble,
My mouth went suddenly dry.
Was I the immediate ingredient
For a tasty monster pie?

‘It’s cramped in here.’ The Monster quipped,
Sounding a little bit miffed.
‘Are you usually rude to all your guests?
Even if they’re a gift?’

‘Sorry,’ I said to the Monster,
As I hesitantly unlocked the shed.
‘You better not be horrible,
Like the monster under my bed…’

And on opening the door, my fate was sealed.
The Monster’s contract I couldn’t repeal.
As under the moonlight, the Monster revealed,
His peculiar form that was slightly concealed.

But this monster wasn’t that scary,
He was really quite cute in fact.
With big red eyes, and sparkly horns,
And fur of shiny black.

As big as a horse,
Four legs of a cat,
A tale of a Dragon,
The wings of a bat.
On top of his head,
A strange looking hat,
A brown leather saddle,
Strapped onto his back.

‘A pleasure to meet you!’ The Monster declared.
‘I promise I’ll try really hard,
I guess I’m sort of new to this game,
But here’s my business card.
I’m pretty good at flying,
But you’ll need to lend a hand,
When I’m in the air, we’ll be just fine,
The problem’s when we land!’

‘Hop on my back now, if you wish,
No shoes now, only socks!
Your Nan hired me for a couple of hours,
I finish at 7 o’clock.’

A Monster! For Me! I was completely amazed!
This evening couldn’t get better!
It was only this morning, I was given the warning,
To expect a crocheted Sweater!

So I jumped up into the saddle,
And with no one around to stare,
With several beats of his monster wings,
We rose into the air!

And over streets and houses,
Forests and rivers and lakes,
The Monsters landing was perfect,
He never made a mistake.

The Monster asked for Jellybeans,
They were his rate of pay.
I thought this really quite reasonable,
I’d had such a fantastic day!
And after a brief conversation,
The Monster then went on his way.
There’s no denying the feeling of flying,
I wish I could do it all day!

The Monster and I shared an evening together,
It’s something I’ll never forget!
It’s amazing the things that your Nanna can find,
If she knows how to Surf the Net!

Ross D Tyler Collection

Ross D Tyler's picture

I have always been passionate about writing. Words can be beautiful, powerful, they may make us laugh, or perhaps weep. Words can make sense of our inner beings; or like me, they may convey a warped sense of humor!, Im an accredited Counsellor; currently working with traumatized young people; obtaining my MA in Counselling in Australia; a country where I live and work., Narratives are important in my work with young people, and I often find poetry to be an excellent medium from which to explore our inner worlds and feelings. Of course, poetry can also make us laugh; something of equal importance :)

Last updated September 15, 2011