this strange dowry

bloodwife they whisper when i raise my hand for another rum coke

the ill savior of my veins proceeds me, my digital honesty about what

queer bacteria has dotted my blood with snake mist & shatter potions

they stare at my body, off the app, unpixelated & poison pretty flesh

they leave me be, i dance with the ghost i came here with

a boy with 3 piercings above his muddy eyes smiles then disappears into the strobes

the light spits him out near my ear, against my slow & practiced grind

he could be my honey knight, the hand to break me apart like dry bread

there is a dream where we are horses that neither one of us has

for fives songs my body years of dust fields, his body rain

in my ear he offers me his bed promise live stock meat salt lust brief marriage

i tell him the thing i must tell him, of the boy & the blood & the magic trick

me too his strange dowry vein brother-wife partner in death juke

what a strange gift to need, the good news that the boy you like is dying too

we let the night blur into cum wonder & blood hallelujah

in the morning, 7 emails come: meeting, junk, rejection, junk, blood work results

i put on a pot of coffee, the boy stirs from whatever he dreams

& it’s like that for a while. me & that boy lived a good little life for a bit

in the mornings, we’d both take a pill, then thrash