The News Anchor Is Crying

Because I called in during a Q and A
segment and broke up with her on air.

Q: Is dating a news anchor the dangerous
and sexy fun you would imagine?

A: I never got to ride in a helicopter. A: I never
got to see horrific tiger accidents. A: She never

took me tanning or teeth-bleaching. She also
never said “I love you,” but that was probably

because A: she half-believes she is a robot
but with less emotional capacity, circuits

where the veins should be, or A: because the dark
is rising, or A: because her hair and thereby the timing

was never right, or A: because she actually didn’t
love me, because she probably didn’t, why

would she, but anyway, the news anchor is crying
and now she has to report on a shooting,

another shooting on the north side of town
and her hair is just right. The tears are just so.