To Do List

by Simon Armitage

. Sharpen all pencils.
. Check oft-side rear tyre pressure.
. Detrag hard-drive.
.Consider lite and times of Donald Campbel, CBE.
. Shamp0o billiard-room carpef.
. Learn one new word per day.
.Make circumnavigation ot Coniston Water by toot, visit Coniston Cemetery to pay respects.
Achieve Grade 5 Piano by Easter.
. Goto tancy dress party as Donald Campbell complete with crash helmet and lite jacket.
Drat pro-torma apology letter during meditation session.
Check world-ranking.
Skim duckweed trom ornamental pond.
Make fewer "apple to apple" comparisons.
. Consider tather's achievements only as barriers to be broken.
. Dredge Coniston Water tor sections of wreckage/macabre souvenirs.
Lobby senvice-provider to un-bundle local loop network.
Remove all invasive species from British countryside.
. Build 1/25 scale model of Bluebird K7 from toothpicks and spent matches.
.Compare own personality with fraits of those less successtul but more popular.
. Eat (optional).
.Breathe (optional).
. Petition for high-speed fibre-optic broadband to this postcode.
Order by express delivery DVD copy of Across the Lake staring Anthony Hopkins as "speed king
Donald Campbell"
.Gain a pecuniary advantage.
Initiate painstaking reconstruction of Donald Campbell's final seconds using archive film footage and
forensic material not previously released into public domain.
Polyfilla all surface cracking to Bonneville Salt Flats, Utah.
.Develop up to four thousand five hundred pounds/force of thrust.
.Carry on regardless despite suspected skull iracture.
Attempt return run before allowing backwash ripples to completely subside.
Open her up.
Subscribe to convenient one-a-day tormulation ot omega oil capsules tor balanced and healthy diet.
. Reserve tull throtle for pertormance Over "measured mile".
. Relocate to dynamic urban hub.
Eat standing up to avoid time-consuming table manners and other non-essential mealtime rituals.
Remain mindtul of engine cut-out caused by tuel-starvation.
. Exceed upper limits.
. Make extensive observations during timeless moments of somersaulting prior to impact.

The Unaccompanied

Last updated March 07, 2023