Birthday Trees

Ten trees are the things that you find when you are walking alone

He said that calm is what we wanted and that was all that I remembered

The devil is when you meet someone meaner than you

But what if you are at the cruelest point of humanity and that doesn’t happen

Are you disappointed in spring and that it wasn’t what you expected

When you let go of life with a thud

When it was really your patience that did you in

Trees can be named by their leaves or their bark

And when you happen upon a tree in the memory of your childhood

Maybe then it seems pretty important

I had one such tree or I should say I do have

It was so enormous then and now with its thick bark

I never named it and of course it’s gone by now

It’s too late for me to have this sort of moment with it

And isn’t it the self that is the hardest to write about

Isn’t it harder to be more than they thought you could be when they planned you

When you lived for so long

And then you thought you were a good person

Or that you were completely aware of what you were doing and you thought this is it

When people say the sun gives us everything maybe they aren’t thinking that hard

Certainly the sun couldn’t be more important but I don’t see it anymore

When they said I only had to be myself that’s just not what they meant at all

I kept going on, begging for anyone to save me

But by that late age I realized these were silly dreams

I was so big when I was born no one knew what to do with me

They gave me a name but it’s too late for that

I just want to be saved but by whom and why should they

When you meet the devil in the dream he’s usually the person who is meaner than you

If you are very mean you will only recognize him as the thing in the mirror

When they say be prepared for anything they really don’t mean that

They will be watching if you are but also they don’t care if you are or you aren’t

No one cares if you have a memory of the tree of your childhood

And what it looks like and what it was to you

When you die all of that tree will be dissolved into something like a peril

When people in your life die you can say for the rest of your life that’s my angel

But maybe if it had been the other way around

You wouldn’t be so eager about all of that nomenclature

When someone says bring me to the body of water they really mean they are in love with ou

When she met me she wasn’t so sure it was me but I was sure

When you meet yourself in the dream you are usually the one that is meaner than you

But really it takes a while to realize you aren’t mean at all you are very kind

And you can be kind again

It’s just that easy!

When you reach the body of water in the dream all you have to do is jump right in

Don’t think about your body being all in there and what the slick feeling will be like

Only think I only have this one time to do this so I better do this right

When it’s your turn to turn around and see who has been waiting

You better be wearing a tiny locket and have in it a picture of your mother

Otherwise no one will know where to place you

When you meet your mother in the dream she will be the one who is nicer than you

And she will smile and smile the meaner you get

When I thought about all of those things one afternoon

When I met the devil in the dream

Then about how he had left seemingly so suddenly

I’d rather we’d have had an opportunity to talk more

Now he was my angel for all eternity but I’d rather it had been me

No I don’t mean that but I mean I’d rather we’d have gone to lunch

Instead of how it all turned out this way

They say the hardest part about writing about the self is that the self is writing it

When you meet the hardest part in the dream it will be about growing old

I promise you

The devil is right about everything and he is never rusty

No he is metal thru and thru and so shiny

When you meet the very bad statue in the dream

You will be inclined to think it’s the devil

No instead it’s yourself and you should probably be scared of it

There’s life and then there’s life

When you meet the metal devil in the dream

You will be tempted to say that’s me

But in general things don’t work that way and you should get used to it

When you go on a walk, find the ten trees that are the most beautiful to you

If they don’t have names yet, name them

You are connected to trees in ways you will never fully realize

When you meet the tree in the dream you will be almost sure that’s the devil

But no instead it will be you

Standing tall and proud

All of these years

In spite of everything