Chattin Shit

Awright, hen, hope you don’t mind, A couldnae help but see
A conversation taking place that didnae involve me;
Never fear, sweet gentle lass, A’m here tae set that right,
Cause aw a lassie needs tae hear is a man there chattin shite.

Awright, doll, you’re looking braw, I hope ye dinnae mind
A dash of impropriety in the guise ae bein kind;
For whit’s a man supposed tae dae when blessed wae sic a sight,
It’s physically impossible fur me tae no chat shite.

Here’s a message tae the lads wha hink that I’m in need ae help:
Yer condescendin creepiness will earn yous aw a skelp;
Tell me a lassie cannae hink or speak or scrieve annaw,
And the ainly hing ye’ll get fae me is a backhaun tae the jaw.

A’m no here as somehin cute fur you tae just abuse,
A’m the bloody artist, mate, I’m no the silent muse,
A cannae haud ma wheesht the now so tae avoid a fight,
Lads, tak heed fur aw wur sakes, refrain fae chattin shite.