by Kirby Wright
Stitch your pockets shut so you can’t hide your hands.
Try out for football even though you’ll probably get cut.
Dance in your bedroom mirror.
Don’t dance in the restroom.
Smoke a clove cigarette long enough to choke.
Eat French fries without ketchup.
Use tea tree roll-on.
Don’t wear macramé belts.
Get a crush on Miss Whatzhername, I think she teaches math.
Eat hot meals instead of cold sandwiches.
Flirt back when flirted with.
Say ‘golden lizard’ twice at 2:22 on school days to create a sense of mystery.
Go behind the gym with that girl from French class.
Keep your hands busy since you have no pockets.
Last updated September 08, 2011