by Sara Herlihy
Unicorns pirouetting over perfect rainbows onto marshmallow clouds...
One by one.
One Unicorn, two Unicorns, three Unicornii...
How magical! Perfect, prancing, pirouetting fucking Unicorns.
WHY ARE THEY SO HAPPY?!??
Why can I not simply count sheep like any other insomniacs (or 4-yr. olds) out there. Why must I imagine these magical, arrogant beasts who flaunt their perfect lives into my sleep-deprived brain.
Fucking Unicorn Assholes.
Unicorn jerks prancing upon my sleep deprived brain. And making me jealous of their perfect Unicorn lives.
They're probably vacationing "sans" children on the Amalfi Coast, all the while planning their next vacation to LEGOLAND, to appease their long forgotten children.
Dumb stupid Unicorn. They have it so easy. Living the dream.
The dream.. Sleep.. isn't that what I was searching for?
Maybe three uninterrupted hours of wonderful dreams..
Or just sleep.. I'd totally settle for just sleep. Or maybe just lying down and not moving? That's pretty much sleep, right? If I'm super still and don't open my eyes, that is sleep, right?
Holy shit. I'm exhausted. 3:48AM. 3 hours and 12 minutes until I really have to start my day.
Why do Unicorns have it so damned easy?
Last updated February 13, 2016