Honest Submission

Life was pretty mundane
Presenting everything the most common and uninteresting
Portraits of its creations for me

I myself took an oath
To explore this magnificent world for its specialty
Exhausted and tired of its discovery
Not sure of any strange or special outlook to fulfill the thirst
Of my curiosity
Kept wandering like a monk and
Set on for a peaceful monastery
To still my thought
By renouncing all the enthusiasm
That I’ve for my life’s joy
And anticipated the arrival of a salvation
The so called spiritual realization of life….

On one magical day
You started heading against me
On my way for austerity
Signaling from within
All the joy I’ve left behind
And assuring my worth
For all those curious efforts I made
And made me retrograde
To feel and experience the wonders of life you got for me
You came as a beauty into my life
I was thunderstruck at that heavenly moment
When you showered
All that unimagined and unbelievable affection
It was a tremendous downpour of “love” from you,
Colossal enough to convince my heart
And I conceived all the reality
At that soul-fulfilling glance

Your enchanting arrival
Into my disinterested destiny
Gave me immense power
And I’m turned invincible
To achieve everything

You reduced my ponderous burden
To ever become ever victorious
By accommodating me in your heart
And I’m awestruck with limitless joy
And I felt my achievements are all
Unmatchable, Stupendous and complete
Then you left me for your accomplishments,
Lived your way
I wandered again
Separated and dejected to be transformed
Into a distant spectator
Struggled hard to reach you
Through clouds in the sky
Incessantly strived to send my feelings
Through the breezes in the space
Followed your footmarks
To discover you again
Plead you earnestly
To help me get me out of my desperation
Put all of my life in reaching you again
Found you living your life
I questioned you of your role
You then refuted me for my immaturity
It pierced a wit deep into my mental calmness
And rippled it uncontrollably
I fought with my esteem
To overcome my sickness
To gain your ground again
It took my time
My esteem was strong enough
To defeat my heart
I wept all the time
Strayed from destination
With utterly no confidence and strength
The world termed me a psych and maniac
I took that blame happily
Battled my loneliness
Died and reborn million times
To have your company
To get back all that treasure of affection from you
Which nothing in this universe can offer me
I paddled with my crippled legs
The road where the entire world
Amputated my force from reaching
To look into you
And to be purified to live again a billion births
To experience your affection
I tried to be a human
While this whole world was not considering me so….
With a hope that my soul knows the inner truth in me

Drained out of my strength
Drowned helplessly in my trials
To appease you with my honesty
But this merciless world
Criticized me infinitely
Fenced me strongly
From reaching your expectations
I was deprived and depressed
Out of my hope a million times
I surrendered
Then you talked to me
To revive me again
But my insane human nature
Turned skeptical
And made me an underperformer

The world was again ready
At its fists
To punch its criticism
I strongly held my belief
In my soul that it surely knows my pain
Thought that it is patient enough
To be kind to me
For all my meaningless explanations
Then my very soul I thought
Which was mine and which was for me
Alone in this universe
Denied and notified its intolerance
To my worthless noise

I sensed it readiness
To reject my theories and
Realized that it let this whole big world
In between us
To assess me, to judge me
And to promulgate my stupidity
On a big-stage to this world
Which now indicates
The hardest thing to live with
The separation of me and my soul
With thrashing sounds of sadness

The world now terrors me
Damaging my esteem
Overpowering the strength of bonding
Between me and my soul

The world now isolates me
Desecrates my temple
Beautified by my soul
And has hung a banner on my face
Making me a culprit
And letting every tiny creature
Belittle me and punch me every possible way

My heart is now pierced
With extremely inconsolable pain and
It has blocked my hope of consolation forever
As my confession box (soul)
Now silently left my side
Joining this horrible world
Paving a way for unbearable criticism against me
Which now makes my life more miserable
Than ever than everything
But I humbly make my complete submission
Of whatever I’m left with
Apart from my separated soul
To my soul
Well before this world confirms
My falsehood and sentences me
Into a permanent exile of loneliness
I can now only ask
My soul with my ever increasing affection
To be patient enough to receive
My honest and humble submission for one last time
Before I permanently get punished
For all my notorious sins
And unforgivable crimes

Vasishta Sharma Gudi

Vasishta Sharma Gudi's picture

Vasishta is affectionate to both English and Sanskrit literature but pens mostly in English for better reach. Inspired by day-to-day scenarios, his writings capture deep human connections with inner self., He currently works as Data Scientist at Amazon., You can write to him @ sharma.vasishta@gmail.com

Last updated December 13, 2016