The Editorial Staff's Quotes


Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.
• Robert Benchley

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?
• Phyllis Diller

I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
• Woody Allen

I love to go to Washington - if only to be near my money.
• Bob Hope

I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.
• Emo Philips

If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.
• Woody Allen

My mother was against me being an actress - until I introduced her to Frank Sinatra.
• Angie Dickinson

People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, no, I was an accountant.
• Ellen DeGeneres

There's no better feeling in the world than a warm pizza box on your lap.
• Kevin James

Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid.
• Hedy Lamarr


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