The Editorial Staff's Quotes


I wish I had the nerve not to tip.
• Paul Lynde

In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.
• George Carlin

Never fight an inanimate object.
• P. J. O'Rourke

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and so am I.
• Oscar Levant

TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
• Frank Lloyd Wright

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
• Groucho Marx

As I get older, I just prefer to knit.
• Tracey Ullman

Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.
• Milton Berle

I am the literary equivalent of a Big Mac and Fries.
• Stephen King

I have a new philosophy. I'm only going to dread one day at a time.
• Charles M. Schulz


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