There's nothing wrong with being shallow as long as you're insightful about it.

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

Every man's dream is to be able to sink into the arms of a woman without also falling into her hands.

I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.

I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they now do.

I wear a necklace, cause I wanna know when I'm upside down.

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.

My uncle Sammy was an angry man. He had printed on his tombstone: What are you looking at?

Recession is when a neighbor loses his job. Depression is when you lose yours.

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