I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.

If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.

My theory is that all of Scottish cuisine is based on a dare.

Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.

There's nothing wrong with being shallow as long as you're insightful about it.

Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid.

Electricity is really just organized lightning.

How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand.

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.

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