I don't think anyone should write their autobiography until after they're dead.
I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
I did not have three thousand pairs of shoes, I had one thousand and sixty.
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
He taught me housekeeping; when I divorce I keep the house.
Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?
How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand.
I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
