Television has brought back murder into the home - where it belongs.
Until you walk a mile in another man's moccasins you can't imagine the smell.
A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
Because of their size, parents may be difficult to discipline properly.
Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.
I buy expensive suits. They just look cheap on me.
I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.
I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.
I'd luv to kiss ya, but I just washed my hair.
It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.