Quotes


I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
• Joan Rivers

I think they should have a Barbie with a buzz cut.
• Ellen DeGeneres

I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago.
• Will Rogers

Moderation is a virtue only in those who are thought to have an alternative.
• Henry A. Kissinger

One man's folly is another man's wife.
• Helen Rowland

The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver.
• Jay Leno

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
• George Burns

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
• Lana Turner

California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange.
• Fred Allen

God did not intend religion to be an exercise club.
• Naguib Mahfouz


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