I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they now do.

I wear a necklace, cause I wanna know when I'm upside down.

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.

My uncle Sammy was an angry man. He had printed on his tombstone: What are you looking at?

Recession is when a neighbor loses his job. Depression is when you lose yours.

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.

As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them.

I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens.

I have a love interest in every one of my films: a gun.

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