Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.

I did not have three thousand pairs of shoes, I had one thousand and sixty.

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

I think serial monogamy says it all.

I'm kidding about having only a few dollars. I might have a few dollars more.

Miami Beach is where neon goes to die.

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he is a baby.

When I go to a bar, I don't go looking for a girl who knows the capital of Maine.

A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, "At my age, I don't even buy green bananas.

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