Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day.
He taught me housekeeping; when I divorce I keep the house.
I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.
I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
I was sleeping the other night, alone, thanks to the exterminator.
If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?
My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is.
Parrots make great pets. They have more personality than goldfish.
There's a great power in words, if you don't hitch too many of them together.
Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.