Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.
I am the literary equivalent of a Big Mac and Fries.
I have a new philosophy. I'm only going to dread one day at a time.
I rant, therefore I am.
I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong.
In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.
Never floss with a stranger.
Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life.
Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.
A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
