Our national flower is the concrete cloverleaf.

There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.

You're only as good as your last haircut.

All men are equal before fish.

Do not let a flattering woman coax and wheedle you and deceive you; she is after your barn.

Have enough sense to know, ahead of time, when your skills will not extend to wallpapering.

I don't think anyone should write their autobiography until after they're dead.

I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.

I was born in very sorry circumstances. Both of my parents were very sorry.

If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets.

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