I have a new philosophy. I'm only going to dread one day at a time.

I rant, therefore I am.

I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong.

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

Never floss with a stranger.

Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life.

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.

Be obscure clearly.

Fashions have done more harm than revolutions.

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