Never floss with a stranger.

Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life.

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.

Be obscure clearly.

Fashions have done more harm than revolutions.

I bought some batteries, but they weren't included.

I have never been hurt by what I have not said.

I recorded my hair this morning, tonight I'm watching the highlights.

I would talk in iambic pentameter if it were easier.

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