I'm undaunted in my quest to amuse myself by constantly changing my hair.
I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something's wrong with me.
If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor.
I would talk in iambic pentameter if it were easier.
I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong.
I wish I had the nerve not to tip.
I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.
I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.
I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.
I was born in very sorry circumstances. Both of my parents were very sorry.